Welcome

If you are looking for adoptive parents, we are happy that you've found us. Take a look around our site. We hope you can get to know us better.

If you would like to meet us, please click here to contact us. You can even stay anonymous at first if you'd like.

We are approved as an adoptive couple and have a current homestudy through LDS Family Services.

Our Family

Our Family
We live in a gorgeous flower-covered suburb in Oklahoma and have been married for 10 years. Paul is our miracle biological son, who is four. It took us 7 years and some science and technology to be blessed with him. We feel inspired to add to our family and pursue adoption since fertility treatments are no longer an option.

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10/7/09

To the woman carrying a precious child

Greetings,
It occurred to me that to say that we are "looking for a baby" is actually kind of weird.

Right now we are actually just looking to find the woman who is carrying the baby who is meant to come to our home. That sounds more like what I mean to say. And, if you are this magical person, thank you for visiting us.

My note to you today, my mysterious friend, is that pregnancy is beautiful. Please don't forget that YOU are also beautiful, no matter how gross you feel, how tight your jeans feel, and especially on those days when you look in the fridge and think that nothing looks good to eat except the oreos you wish you had bought at the store. Your morning sickness is especially lovely to that tiny person you are carrying because it means that you are just properly pumped up on progesterone and making a happy home inside of you. Getting bigger makes you gorgeous because it means you are a success at what you are doing- taking care of the baby you were chosen to carry. That exhausted feeling of pregnancy is symbolic of the race you are running inside of you to keep that baby alive. . . and winning.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. . .

Even if you haven’t made your mind up, we want to thank you for even considering adoption for your precious child. We want you to know that we are ready to jump on board to help you however we can. Please let us know what level of openness and communication is important to you so that we can help you feel that your child is secure and well cared for. We want to accommodate your feelings and needs and be sure to never betray your trust.

Our philosophy as parents. . .

We want our children to know of our love for them. We believe strongly in encouraging our children’s developing individuality. Our common parenting goals are: to bring our children up in the gospel, spend lots of time with them and attend all of their childhood functions, teach them good manners, provide them with an excellent education, and expose them to many different experiences so that they can be their best selves and each choose a unique path through life.

Becky’s thoughts on Tom as a dad. . .

Most importantly, Tom is a positive spiritual influence in our home. He was born to be a dad. He always encourages Paul’s exploration by taking him out to jump in mud puddles and teaches him to hold on tight when he climbs on his play set. He has enviable night-time endurance for calming a sleepless infant, a high tolerance for messes, and marathon story reading stamina. It also seems like he can build or fix anything.

He is a patient, selfless, generous, gentle, dedicated, providing father; proficient in belly-button beeping, piggy-back ride giving, toy assembling, playground building, toe tickling, block building, game playing, diaper changing, hall walking, stroller pushing, fishing items out of the toilet bowl, obsessively kissing, story reading, “I love you” saying, hug giving, silly song singing, cuddling and rocking, stink detecting, car seat carrying, toe counting, and always being there for the family.

Tom’s thoughts on Becky as a mom. . .

Becky is a sophisticated, culturally refined influence in our home who keeps everyone organized, productive, clean, fed, and out of danger. She is extremely creative, witty and sometimes sassy.

She is a protective, peace-making, smile smiling, patient, multitasking mother; skilled at swiftly swaddling, making up nicknames, diaper changing, burp coaxing, barf dodging, doctor appointment making, story reading, “I love you” saying, hug giving, pacifier finding, onesie snapping, lullaby singing, snuggling close holding, temperature taking, photographing, teeny tiny nail trimming, always teaching, and single-sided conversation holding.

A very short resume. . .

Tom:

Education: Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering

Mission: France Bordeaux

Employment History: Mechanical Engineer; formerly an IT Specialist and Computer Repair Technician

Becky:

Education: Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing, minor in Art History;

Master of Education in Teaching and Teacher Education, Secondary English

Mission: Russia Moscow

Employment: Full-time mom, occasional Technical Writer; formerly an Art, Creative Writing, and English Teacher; Newspaper Editor/Writer; and Photography Studio Manager

Feelings on adoption. . .

We have been praying to know what to do about the future of our family. The prompting came to both of us that we are to adopt a child. The feeling came again and again and was so strong that we couldn’t deny it.

Tom:

It has been an honor to be able to be parents to our son. Realistically, parenthood has been a lot of work for us, full of sleepless nights and sacrifice, but despite this, having Paul has been blessing and a wonder. We would embrace the opportunity for our family to grow and for him to have a sibling. I feel that there is a child out there who is meant to come to our family.

Becky:

It took seven years of trying and the science of fertility treatment for us to bring our little son into the world. My pregnancy with him was unusually difficult and I was on bed rest for four months with pre-term labor. Still, I would be willing to do it all again if I could just get pregnant. However, I am unable to continue fertility treatments because I have developed allergies to fertility drugs. For awhile we thought that maybe Paul was destined to be an only child, but I feel inspired that adoption is the right path for us to take.

Hobbies and interests. . .

Our “artsy” side takes us to plays, musicals, museums of any kind, and art galleries. If there is any type of festival or fair, we’ll go and check out new goofy fair food like fried twinkies (not that these are good), towers of onion rings, or caramel apples. We like to try a new restaurant almost every time we go out and sample cuisines from other cultures. We also like gardening. It’s so cute to see the little kids picking and eating cherry tomatoes straight off the vine. In our laid back family time we make homemade ice cream, sing songs, pop popcorn, read stories with Paul, go swimming, walking, make videos, and take lots of pictures.

Tom:

Every so often, I hear the call of the wild, which leads me to take the family camping or picnicking. I loved participating in scouting and earned my Eagle Scout award. I also like hiking, mountain biking, and swimming. I am an amateur guitar player, do some woodworking, and a lot of building things and tinkering. I build computers and fix mechanical things for fun. My favorite books are Tom Clancy novels, Harry Potter, and other mystery/spy books.

Becky:

My passion is writing: non-fiction stories, poetry, and I write in my blog almost every day. In high school, I loved drama and had the lead in a high-school musical. In college, I spent my time attending poetry readings and wandering around art galleries. I also toured Italy to further my studies of classical art. I love reading cookbooks and cooking organic gourmet dinners for the rest of the family. I like to take time to study nutrition and healthy living. I enjoy planning social events, dinner parties, and entertaining guests. I make elaborate birthday cakes and like to help my mom decorate wedding cakes. I take pride in organizing the family budget, balancing the checkbook, and making sure we have our food storage in order. I have collected Dr. Seuss books since I was in high school and now have branched out to other children’s authors. My favorite author is E.M. Forster. I love old black and white movies, especially Audrey Hepburn ones. I have a huge collection of fortunes from fortune cookies. I also like playing the piano- it is very relaxing for me.

Paul, the potential big brother. . .

Paul, four years old, is a loving, social child with tender feelings who would make a super big brother. He is growing up fast and always changing. He loves to say his prayers and sing primary songs. He is our little marathon runner and loves to run for the joy of running. He goes outside spontaneously throughout the day to run barefoot in the grass and kick his soccer ball. He also loves swimming, riding elevators and escalators for fun, playing computer games, trains, puzzles, popping popcorn, climbing, sliding, and playing in the mud. He loves books and likes us to read about ten to him each day.

Our big families. . .

Becky:

My family is very scholarly. I am the second oldest of six children. I have four brothers and one sister- they all live in Arizona. All of my siblings are well educated and have bachelors or advanced degrees.

My parents are gifted in many ways: intelligent, intuitive, and level-headed. They live in Arizona and are fabulous grandparents to all four of their grandchildren. They read stories to the grandkids and use all the characters’ funny voices. Grandpa takes the grand kids on rides in the red wagon and teaches them all the funny silly things that grandpas should- like how to make drums out of container lids, and how to bark like different types of dogs. Grandma is cuddly and gives lots of hugs and kisses and treats. Aside from being a gourmet cook, she makes wedding cakes.

Tom:

I am the oldest of seven children. I have four sisters and two brothers. Both of my brothers and one sister are married and most live in Arizona. There are five nieces on my side of the family. My parents divorced when I was in my teens and they are now remarried and live in Utah and Oregon. My grandparents have served many missions and are currently temple workers in Utah.

Our home and neighborhood. . .

We live in a beautiful green and friendly small town outside of Tulsa, Oklahoma. The schools in our area are great. Our house is a single-story red brick home, surrounded by trees, grass, and flowers.

If we connect . . .

We hope to be able to meet you, to listen to your story, and to learn about your personal goals and wishes for your child’s future. If you select us to become adoptive parents, we will post pictures and stories about your child on a special blog. That way, you can log on any time to keep up on his or her important milestones in life.

As you are learning about us and other prospective parents, we hope you will find the desires of your heart. If you feel that we are meant to parent your child, we promise you that we will give him or her love, adoration, and the best life we can. Every child is an important little person and we would treat him or her as such.

Thanks for reading and best wishes in all regards,

Tom and Becky

A few things a Birthmom Might Want to Know...

A few things you might want to ask but don’t know how:

I want to provide information on this blog so that women (and sometimes their parents and boyfriends) who are looking for adoptive parents will get answers, not cheesy fluffy stuff about how our house is as cute as a button or how we think babies are soft and yummy. Real stuff! Here is a list of questions that birth-moms and dads might have when they want to interview potential parents, along with our answers.

Why are you interested in adopting? This is a complex question. It's more than just looking around and thinking, “someone is missing!” We have a place in our home and hearts for another child. We did fertility treatments to conceive our son, Paul (age 3 now), but the same treatments don’t work anymore. We just feel like not having more kids is a waste of our existence. It’s so weird because we never PLANNED on adopting, but we feel like we are being inspired to go for it.

How long have you been married? Next December is our 11th Anniversary

What makes your marriage successful? We love to serve each other and keep each other’s best interests in mind. For example, we’re always trying to lighten each other’s load in life- whether it’s Tom doing the dinner dishes or Becky jumping out of bed to rush to pack Tom’s lunch when he is running late, we like to make each other happy.

What kind of contact would you like to have with the birth mother?

We would keep updates on our blog, so that you could choose to log on and see how things are going whenever you want to see it. We want an arrangement where you (the birthmom) let us know the amount of contact you feel is most comfortable. Of course, it would depend a lot on where you live, geographically. We would want to keep in contact with you, know how you are doing, too. We hope that we would become friends, above all, and build a good relationship of trust.

What type of relationship do you have with your extended family? Becky has four brothers and one sister who all live in Arizona. We visit them whenever there are important events or holidays, which ends up being about twice a year. They are all married, except for one brother. All of her siblings have college degrees. She is really close to her sister, who is a physical therapist, and mom, who teaches junior high.

Tom’s parents live in Utah and Oregon, and most of his siblings live in Arizona. Tom has four sisters and two brothers. One brother is an architect, and the other is in the army, living in Korea with his wife and three daughters. His whole family is very playful/energetic/hyper? silly? :)

How many children do you have/are you planning to have? We will probably stop after we adopt a child (so, two kids is probably all we will have unless something special happens like twins). We would like to have as many children as God wants us to have, but realistically, the child we adopt will probably end up being the baby of the family.

What future do you see for your adopted child? We want our children to be well educated, social, and successful in all aspects of life. We will teach them good manners, provide financially for an education, teach them the benefits of hard work, and allow them to be exposed to many options in life. Then, after they choose which way they want to go, we’ll always support them.

What is your educational background? Tom went to a private college-prep school in high school, then got a Bachelor of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering. He also has worked a lot with computers. Becky graduated in the top 5% of her class in a public high school and was able to do her college on scholarship. She got a Bachelor of Art Degree in Creative Writing with a minor in Art History. Later, she went back and got a Masters Degree in Education, with focus in Teaching and Teacher Education / Secondary English. Also, Tom served a mission in France and speaks French. Becky served a mission in Russia and speaks Russian.

What is your occupation? Tom works as a Mechanical Engineer for a fortune 500 company. He put himself through school doing Microsoft Technical Support and fixing computers. Becky worked in a photography studio during college, then became a newspaper editor, taught high school (Art and English) for 3 years and all subjects Kindergarten-7th grade in a special charter school for a year and a half, and then left education to pursue a career as a Technical Writer, which she was able to do from home for awhile until Paul stopped napping.

Where do you live? Jenks, OK in a red brick house with lots of flowers and trees in the yard. We can walk to a few ponds, live near a large aquarium, in a great school district.

Are you planning on moving in the future? It is a possibility that we could stay here in Oklahoma forever. However, Tom’s work has locations all over the US where he could be transferred.

What are your religious beliefs? We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). This is why we went through LDS Family Services for our adoption home study. We love our church and work hard to live Christlike lives in all our imperfection.

How do you handle conflict? Love, logic, and forgiveness! Heavily weighted on the forgiveness aspect.

What are your views regarding discipline? We like to use language of “choice”, meaning, instead of saying, “You are a bad boy,” saying, “That was a bad choice, how can we make a better one?” Sounds cheesy, but it does work. Also, we like natural and logical consequences. For example, if you draw on the wall, you have to help clean it up, not go to your room or get spanked or anything. We find that consistency is really the key. Just spouting off empty threats is no good.

What makes you good parents? We appreciate the privilege of being parents in the first place. It’s a huge responsibility, and we don’t take it lightly. Parenthood isn’t about buying cute clothes and toys and going on fancy trips all the time. It’s about cleaning up messes and staying up all night. It’s about planning nutritional meals and thinking hard about ways to foster developmental growth in a young mind. It's about figuring out how to discipline and train so a child knows what to expect. Also, we try hard and don’t give up. So many parents these days have just given up on their kids (given up on teaching manners, or teaching them beneficial social skills, or even on discipline). We won’t give up on our kids.

8/11/09

Details, Details!



Tom

Age: 34

Height: 6’

Weight: 170

Eyes: Blue

Skin: Medium, tans easily

Hair: Dark Blond

Ancestry: Scottish, German, Welsh, English

Education: Bachelor of Science, Mechanical Engineering

Occupation: Mechanical Engineer/ Project Manager

Foreign Languages: French

Becky

Age: 34

Height: 5’5”

Weight: 120

Eyes: Hazel

Skin: Fair with FRECKLES!

Hair: Light Brown

Ancestry: Native American, Croatian/Yugoslavian, Polish, English, German, French Canadian

Education: Bachelor of Arts, Creative Writing/ Art History, Master of Education, Teaching and Teacher Education/Secondary English

Occupation: Mom, former Newspaper Editor, High School English and Art Teacher, K-7 teacher, Technical Writer

Foreign Languages: Russian

Paul

Age: 3

Height: 41 inches

Weight: 37

Occupation: Trains, Tonka toys, riding elevators

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Becky
I'm Paul's Mommy, Tom's bestest friendest; I'm a writer, formerly a teacher & newspaper editor. I keep everyone clean, fed, and out of danger.
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